Time jokes
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
you.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.