They jokes
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
joe mama roast
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
How do mountains see? They peek.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."