They jokes
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.