They jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.