They jokes

Blanket

What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.

Meat

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

9/11 victim

Twin Towers

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

Memes

Hell

i keep asking explain bear to make me welcome since im new but why dont you

Two men are handling a pot in a basin. A close-up of a man's bulging belly is shown below. The text says: "I don't know what they cooking but that tummy looks happy as hell."

Hooker

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

People

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

Twin Towers

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

Face

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

Gun

Everybody loves guns!

Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

Orphan

Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?

They have no one to call "daddy."

Sport

Why do gay people like sports?

Because they get to play with balls.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.

Omelet

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

Orphan

You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.

Orphan

If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?