That jokes
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
Hiii everyone, I heard from many people that they want to join the "stop orphan jokes" group. Who wants to?
"Stop, that's mean! You're making fun of people with Down syndrome!"
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico? Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.