That jokes

The pie tasted weird today.

Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?

Slugma.

Slugma dick.

Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.

What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?

Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.