That jokes

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?

You're so fat, that you're fat.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.