That jokes

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.