That jokes

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"