That jokes
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.