That jokes

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.

He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?

Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.

Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

A: A suicide bomber.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.