That jokes
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?