That jokes
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"