That jokes

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?

They come with an Elon Musk.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

A: Carlos.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

Me: Hey, how are you?

Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

Me: Ok, and their names?

Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

Me now hates my life. :)

Did you know that French fries aren't from France? They're cooked in Greece.

Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?

A: Carlos.