That jokes
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!