That jokes

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

That joke didn't land well, did it?

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

A: Carlos.

The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.

Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?

They come with an Elon Musk.

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.