That jokes

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

That joke didn't land well, did it?

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?

They come with an Elon Musk.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

A: Carlos.

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!