What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Temperature Jokes
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
When is a cold not a cold?
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
How cool is NASA?
Not cool at all.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
