Why does the ice cream 🍨 have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
donkeys are cool
How did the hipster burn his tongue? -- He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Girl: "Come over." Orphan: "I can't." Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)" Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside
what's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school.
when you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool
NEXT DAY
me: brings in 8 other kids
police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Japanese people are so cool and organized they have their own ways of suicide
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
titanic. doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
"I met a girl and she's 28"
Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade"
-AJR
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
I don't like marriage, it's just like soup, as soon as your done spooning it all cools off
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
