Ice

Daniel King

Why does the ice cream 🍨 have so many friends?

Because he’s cool.

Puns

Anonymous

How did the hipster burn his tongue? – He drank his coffee before it was cool.

1

Donkey

Anonymous

donkeys are cool

Depression

Spud potato

I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

3

Orphan

Anonymous

Girl: come over orphan: I can’t
Girl: my parents aren’t home ;) orphan: oh cool something we have in common

9

Octopus

I wanna die

What do you call a cool octopus?

Tenta-cool (tentacle)

2

Forehead

Anonymous

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

Fridge

Anonymous

why did the fridge have lots of friends?

Cause it was COOL

Puns

Domilego4

How did the hipster drown?

He ice-skated before it was cool.

Ugliness

Anonymous

people: you’re ugly me: ok people: I hate you me: cool IDC people: you’re annoying me: good for me people: BTS is dumb me: I’ll give you 5 seconds to run

Sister

Anonymous

My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up

Alphabet

Anonymous

Why is the B so cool because it’s in between AC

Offensive

Anonymous

Japanese people are so cool and organized they have their own ways of suicide

2

Game

Anonymous

Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

A: They stand near the fans!🏀🏀😆😆

Bullying

hit or miss

I say 1 2 3 all the kids bullied me but now they’re not so cool cuz I shot up the school

0

Puns

Anonymoose

Why did the hipster burn his tounge?-He sipped his coffee before it was cool

Spoon

James.Bray

I don’t like marriage, it’s just like soup, as soon as your done spooning it all cools off

Bone

LogicalMike

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood Now ain’t that cool?

War

Anonymous

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during world war two. He was an officer. Me: Cool, what rank of officer? Jim: SS. Me: …

Bartender

Apoc

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, “After this last drink, I’m going to the roof to kill myself.” A guy sitting next to him says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”, in which the man replies, “Oh yeah?” So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says “You’re not gonna die, watch this!” He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says “Cool, let me try!”, and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says “Superman, you’re an asshole.”