New Temperature Jokes

Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink? He saw the climate change.

Animals are just... so hot

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.

What’s a rapper's favorite type of weather?

When it's COOLIO

How does a rapper greet someone on a COLD DAY?

"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"

Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.

I hate when people leave their cars running Especially in the summer. I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

The little camel asks his mother: Mum why do we have these big humps? Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can drink. And mum. Why do we have this large fur? Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don’t feel cold. And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs. Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot sand. But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?

why are corners so hot? they are always 90o

Student - Its hot in here

Teacher - Thats Beacuse im in here

titanic. doing the polar plunge before it was cool.

Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes

If you can't stand the heat, sit!

What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?

Boi Ling

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said “Celsius.”

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"

One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!