Temperature jokes
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.