Temperature

Temperature Jokes

Cunt

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

Degree

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

Degree

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Water

Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

Day

It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.

Iceberg

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

Core

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Corner

Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

A: It’s always 90 degrees.

Chunk

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

Side

Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?

Because it's on the burning side.

Water

How to make holy water:

1. Grab a pot.

2. Put water in it.

3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.

4. Boil the hell out of it.

Marshmallow

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"