New Temperature Jokes - Page 2

Why are corners so hot?

They are always 90 degrees.

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?

They're both hot, but they're both quiet.

Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.

If you can't stand the heat, sit!

What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?

Boi Ling.

What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"