Temperature jokes
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
Why did the snowman melt?? It had a melt down! 😭😭
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Why are corners so hot?
They are always 90 degrees.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.