Technology jokes
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."