Technology jokes
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Why don't orphans have phones?
Because they have no home buttons.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Google is butt.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.