Technology jokes
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
My favorite website.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.