Technology jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
My favorite website.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Memes
Me during quarantine
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.
I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.