Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him
My Wife Slept With Another Man And Got Pregnant, She Told Me 9 Weeks Later, I Said It's Ok And Told Her Let's Talk Downstairs, So I Pushed Her Down The Stairs
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about
We were at a restaurant today and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch. I asked, "what do they raise there? Sea horses?"
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
So my brother said we should start a band and I said I already had a band...so I gave him my band and said he was talking about music and I said well I do have a trum-bone ;)
hey you the person who ́s scrolling, i know you might have depression and some feel they cant talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please if you need to talk to others if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone i promise you that i will talk to you, you are not alone and even though it seems it won't change and get better it will i promise. please no harsh comments toward each other.
2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."
It's funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can't do any of those things
What does ur mom say when she is working? Nothing, its rude to talk wit ur mouth full.
hi ima girl gamer looking for a hot bf
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?" The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore."
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."
what do you do when you get locked outside your house...... you talk to the lock. because communication is key.
2 pedophilles talking to each other: do you got 2 fives for 1 ten?
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
