Talk jokes

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

Talk to me if you are online.

Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?

Wait a minute! What am I talking about?

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?

Panera said.

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?

A waterfall.

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

What did the talking rope say to the man?

"Just hang in there."

What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:

Nothing, donkeys don't talk.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."