Talk

Talk Jokes

North Tower

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.

AI

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

Sex

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Kid

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

Bison

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

Shooting

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

Leak

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

Breastfeeding

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

Object

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

Background

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Barney

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

Boy

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Character

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

Difference

What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?

They both talk like they're on fent.

Drug

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

Video Game

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Lover

For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

Donald Trump

I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...