"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor Talk about a failed marriage
A guy finds a genie...
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh.. I thought you saw inside the basement.."
"Wait, wha.."
"What?"
Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: Were here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!
i was talking to my friend and he said "I lost my virginity to a girl and then she stopped coming to school" and I said "probably because she was fired"
F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!". The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me*
“What do you call my friend group?* *Suicide Squad*
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
When I hired a asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong- I see he so I climb up tree, he knock on door and she let in he, she talks to he, he talks to she, he undress she, she undress he, she play with he, he play with she, I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see..... No fee.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
teacher: if u keep talking over me i'll call your parents! Orphan: YOU WILL?
can we stop talking about 9/11 my dad died man but he was a good pilot
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
