Why do you joke about Helen Keller? She was a good person and she learned sign language and learn to talk. So Why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
rizz
are you a biographer cause i picture us toghether can i take a picture of you for i can show santa what i want for christmas No pen No paper you still draw my attention you know what i hate about math they always talk about x and y but not about u and i
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor Talk about a failed marriage
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: Were here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!
F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
i was talking to my friend and he said "I lost my virginity to a girl and then she stopped coming to school" and I said "probably because she was fired"
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!". The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
can we stop talking about 9/11 my dad died man but he was a good pilot
teacher: if u keep talking over me i'll call your parents! Orphan: YOU WILL?
I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke
People with down syndrome have a specific skill only they have, they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. -- I didn't want to interrupt her.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex Oh were you talking to me I thought you only talked behind my back Hold still I am trying to imagine you with a personality
