"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
