Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
