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Suicide

Suicide jokes

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

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    • A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

    One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

    The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

    The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

    And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

    The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

    There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

    My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

    I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

    If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

    Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?

    Mom: You will make me kill myself.

    Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

    I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

    Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

    What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

    The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

    OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.

    ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

    What's worse than depression & suicide?

    Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

    Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

    Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

    After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

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