Suicide jokes
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.