Suicide jokes
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Q: What movie do emos relate the most to?
A: Suicide Squad.
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?