Suicide jokes
Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
I will pay someone to kill me.
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.