Suicide

Suicide jokes

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

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  • What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

    America's funniest home videos.

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  • Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

    Person: Yea, why?

    Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

    What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

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  • Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"