State jokes

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

When you're lonely, watch a scary movie. You won’t feel lonely anymore!

I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

I can't come in, because I'm too high.

Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.

Texans: Don't mess with Texas.

*snows 1 inch*

Texans: Please help us, President Biden!

What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.

The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.

The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.

In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.

My life, ha ha funny!

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

I'm hungry.

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.

What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?

The Two Towers.

You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.