New State Jokes

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

If ignorance is bliss, BLESSEDBRIAN must be the happiest person alive.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?

Because their meat has to be in bread.

Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.

Hillary Clinton is elected president...

And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."