State jokes

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

Wanna hear a funny joke?

John's life.

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?

Because then Cincinnati would want one too.

Why can't orphans be criminals?

Because they're never wanted.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.

Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

Does a midget count as an orphan?

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

When you're lonely, watch a scary movie. You won’t feel lonely anymore!

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.

I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.