Speed jokes
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Random post #1
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
Yo mama so fat, Flash couldn't run around her.
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
The Twin Towers collapsed faster than my grandma did.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"