Velocity jokes

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

Speed.

Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.