The 30+ Best Quick Jokes

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

How to tell if your depressed? You came to a website called worst jokes ever . com looking for a quick smile.

Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"

If iron man and quick sliver teamed up.. They would be alloys.

What do you call 4 mexicans stuck in quick sand?

Quatro Sinco.

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂

How to get quick cash: Step 1: Kill a child's parents Step 2: Do foster care for them Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care

A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”

The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain "Quick," lets swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today. And treat others how you want to be treated! Rate your day scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.