Speed jokes
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Memes
The ultimate speedrun
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.