Speed jokes
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.