If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
