Speed jokes

Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.

How fast does 173 move?

Breakneck speeds!

Why was the rapper always in a rush?

Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!

He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.

What's a cheetah's fav food?

Fast food!

Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!

What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?

An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.

The death toll went sky high.

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.

Are you lightning?

Because you're McQueen.

Who's the world's fastest reader?

9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.

As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

Three drunk guys entered a taxi.

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

Why do cheetahs run?

Why not?

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?