Speed jokes
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?
Cheetah outta here!
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.