Speed jokes
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
The ultimate speedrun
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
What's a cheetah's fav food?
Fast food!
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
What is the epitome of being quick on the draw?
Coming both first and last in the same round of "soggy biscuit".
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?