Speed

Speed jokes

Friend

    • My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

  • 1

    • People

    • Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

    Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

  • 1
    • Speed memes

    Scale

    • Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

  • 0

    • Bus

    • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

  • 0

    • Cheetah

    • Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

  • 2

    • 9/11

    • Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.

  • 3

    • Drunk man

    • Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"

  • 1

    • Brother

    • What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers? A virgin.

  • 3

    • Community talk

    • A black hole is a region in space where gravity is so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape from it, usually forming when a massive star collapses under its own gravity at the end of its life. The boundary around it is called the event horizon, and once anything crosses this boundary, it cannot return. Black holes are mainly described by their mass, spin, and electric charge, and they come in several types,… Read more

    • Geo, you haunt me. My nightmares. and my dreams, the nights you begged for me to stay with you. Even if you were hours away, I needed you. We were meant to meet yesterday. I showed up anyway like the fool I am just to think of the possibilities. We were friends, maybe even more. I cried that last time begging you to stay, maybe this will be the last time I cry about you. I found someone new, someone who treats me 100… Read more

    Community