The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup! This joke is all about "Back to the Future." In the movie, Doc Brown needs to go 88 mph in a DeLorean to time travel. So, basically, your dad didn't just go out for milk; he went on a trip through time! Are you even old enough to order beer?