Foam jokes
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
The ultimate speedrun
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
who wood win
A repost to celebrate: Happy Mario Day! Take a break and read your favorite chapter from the Communist Manifesto.
Community talk
When you hate tomatoes but you realise they have the word "toe" in them so you lowkey start foaming in the mouth
Typically, the base for lean is a strong prescription cold medicine, specifically cough syrup that contains both promethazine and codeine. Other preparations use codeine/guaifenasin, hydrocodone/chlorphenamine, hydrocodone/APAP, and hydrocodone/homatropine. Over-the-counter cold medicines that contain dextromethorphan (often paired with guaifenasin or acetaminophen) as the active ingredient have also been used, as th… Read more
You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number" You're so fat that an oragami crane has less folds than you. You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat people shout out "taxi" You're so fat, the photo I took of you last christmas is still printing.
You're so fat that when you want to iron your pants, you have to go out to your driveway. … Read more