Speed jokes
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
Memes
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.