Speed jokes
Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.
I had to stop drinking because I got tired of waking up in my car, driving 90.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?