Speed jokes
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Memes
The ultimate speedrun
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.