Sound jokes

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Old lady.

Old lady who?

I did not know you could yodel!

I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."

Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.

What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?

"Ah!"

The butt quack one.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.

When the nlgga is farting!!!

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

Boo Boo Doo.

Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).

What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

Meow.

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?

A waterfall.

Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?

I wake up and I find myself on the floor.

Reeeeeeeeeeee!

BRUHS0UNDEFFECT!

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."

What did the baritone say to the alto?

Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.