When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
Don’t DROP me, bro!
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW”
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with mysphonia? One makes the annoying noises while the other hates the annoying noises
why was sonic fast? to be rolling around at the speed of sound got places to got to follow my lead
What instrument do skeletons play?
The TromBONE!
If someone licks your elbow... you wont feel it if you put your ear up to someone's leg you can hear them say "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard the gunshots, he would’ve probably thought it was the ice cream truck
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
What’s the difference between a fly and lady Diana ? The sound when they hit the windshield
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
SOUND CHECKS
if a tree could be any animal what would it be Answer: a dog bc of its bark lol😀
Watching paint dry sounds like a THRILL compared to spending time with SLADE
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
A boy asks his father:
What is politics?
Father answers:
It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business . Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future.
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
So, can you now explain to me what politics is?
The boy says:
Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF" How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW"
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
