Sound jokes
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Alpha Kenny body?
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.