Sound jokes
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
Why does Beethoven's music sound like hell sometimes?
Because he doesn't listen to it!
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.