Sound

Sound jokes

Kid

    • I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

  • 4

    • Woman

    • What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?

    The tornado siren doesn't get raped.

  • 1
    • Sound memes

    Tuna

    • What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

    (The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

  • 0

    • Therapist

    • Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.

    Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

    Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

    Daina (😌): I know, right?

  • 0

    • Advice

    • Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.

    Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

    Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.

    P.S. No hating in these comments.

    Father

    • A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.

    The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

    Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

    A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

    At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

    Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

    After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

    Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

    As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

    “No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

  • 3

    • Hunter

    • Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.

    Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”

  • 0

    • Dog

    • It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."

  • 2

    • Butt

    • Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."

  • 3