Sound jokes
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A. A dino-snore.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap? Because he's dead.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!