Someone's jokes
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.