Someone's jokes
What do you call someone without a body and a nose? Nobody knows.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!