Someone's jokes
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.