Someone's jokes
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.