Someone's jokes
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Why is it that when in PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but in public when I say "blacks against whites" or "boys against girls" I'm the bad guy?
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Like if you know someone emo.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”