Someone's jokes
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Like if you know someone emo.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"