Someone's jokes
I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."
Memes
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Like if you know someone emo.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"