Someone's jokes
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Why do orphans love going to church?
So they can call someone "father."
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."